No Matter How Dark The Stain

0:01 At the end of the day, it's not about what you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted at, who you've made better. It's about what you've given back. Denzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you to do the same. Andrea Whelan, how are you doing. I'm doing good today, Doug. Thank you, and thank you for having me back on your show for the second time. Oh, you know, it's great. We had so much fun last time. And you know you've written so many different books. In fact, it's really interesting. I started to play golf a little bit again, and I am not a great golfer, right, And so I went to the driving range and I was, you know, practicing, and every time I took my driver, which is you know, the main one you use out the teeth, I couldn't even get a biece and hit. And the fellow that was there, that's actually a professional coach, I pulled them over and I said, look, can you help me with this? And he looked at it and he looked at it, and I kept slicing and doing everything else, and he finally took my driver and kind of whiggled it back and forth, and he says, let me find you a different driver.

1:22 And so he went into his office and came back with one and the ones that I was using as purchaser in Thailand, so you know, they weren't necessarily great, but he brought me a He brought me one that's made in the US that is a really high end driver, and wow, I used that, and all of a sudden, boom, there it is. And you know what came to my mind about that under it is that you know, you have written so many different books. You've got the poems, and I want you to talk about those and different things. And I realized, you know, it's interesting. Everybody is going to have a different situation and a different solution to help them with that situation. And what you have done is you have done different solutions in many respects to similar situations. So what I'm likely to do is just introduce yourself again to the audience and talk about the books that you've written, and then we'll go from there. I mean, I appreciate how you blended that together, and that you notice that those are things that I can't see by myself. But I really appreciate hearing that from you, and that's your insights. That's wonderful. I have published three books in three years, and we can talk about how they all tie together.

2:44 Because when I first started the first book, No Matter how Dark, Disdain poems and inspiration for the Woman in Pain, I had no idea how that the next book would come and that the next book would come. But now as I'm sitting I can see how it was like a divine kind of plan, how they all meld together, and how they all can really help heal hearts and change the world for the better within people. So the next the second book I wrote, is the one we spoke about last time, Deeper Days. Deeper Days is three hundred and sixty five Yoga'spirations for intercom amidst Chaos. So that one came out in twenty twenty two, just after No Matter How Dark This Day came out in twenty twenty one. Recently August thirty, first I published. In twenty twenty three, I published Stillness in the Storm, a conscious daily journal of yoga and spiritual Healing. This instantly became number one bestseller in the topic of yoga, number two in mental health the day it came out. Wow. Yeah, So it's very exciting for me.

4:00 Well, and you know, again, because I'm sure there's going to be some people that didn't hear the first interview, I'd love for you to share with the audience. What were your experiences that brought you to this point where you've been writing these books. And obviously your role is helped individuals who have really experienced trauma in their lives. MH. So, I'm really inspired by Joseph Campbell and The Hero's Journey, and I started to notice at a really young age that a lot of extraordinary experiences were happening to me. And at the time I thought it, I had resistance. I cried, I tried suicide, I tried to escape it. Why me, I really?

4:55 I think I cried every day through high school, and during all of those times, I always had the gift of writing. So from age seven, I was writing poetry through through all of the experiences that I was having. So it's on one hand, I had this what I felt was terrible, bad seed hell the way some people would understand it, you know, self esteem. And on the other hand, I was able to through the pen on my paper that there was this divine guidance because the words I was writing in the poetry were still beyond my grade what was I at age seven?

5:43 But in grade school? It was still beyond my intellect. But I could see the vocabulary that I didn't hear that at home, so I had, you know. So then take that to now being nineteen twenty, and this is still happening. A little bit of hell, a little bit of heaven, depending on how you see things. And I just really started to put together that these experiences are happening for a reason. They keep happening. They're a pattern here, and that's why I really went into study. How can I break the pattern? Can I How do I heal this so it doesn't keep continuing? Because I really felt that I was going to die. But then on the one hand, I had this poetry, this poetry that was coming from God or source or something bigger than me. Well, and you know, and isn't it interesting that you know through all that that you are going through, you finally had that awareness that you know what, I've got to change something or life isn't going to be what it's meant to be.

6:58 And I think, yeah, I think I think there's patterns that that keeps showing up. So I had some sexual things happen to me from from men in grade school and it's like, Okay, that's a weird, disturbing, traumatizing, Okay, it's just me. It's my fault, you know. And then take that to university. Same thing. Somebody put the roe hypnol drug in my drink. A couple of years later, I'm on a trip in Mexico, same thing. The bartenders were in cahoots with the vocals that I had one sip and that roe hypna was in there and I could have died then to take that again. Then I have this high position job and I'm a woman there and I'm sexually assaulted by one of the long term employees.

7:53 I mean, at what point, like I had to stop and realize I'm the bottom line and all of that, there's a pattern happening here. Well, you know, I'm going to interrupt you there so I don't forget what I wanted to ask. You know. The thought that I had was how often And you made mention of this that the pattern and everything that you were experiencing was a pattern that you were taking some type of personal responsibility for. But that was only, you know, once you reached an age of awareness to the point where you were able to look at that and think, wow, this is happening. And I think there's so many individuals, both men and women, that regardless of what's going on in their life, they're experiencing things that are not what they want and they blame this person, they blame this situation, they do all of those types of things. And yet what you said, and the thing that I have just learned, you know, from different people as I've been doing this podcast, is that we are responsible and literally we attract into our lives those things that we have expected and that we've not eliminated from that subconscious mind, and therefore we keep experiencing, and we keep experiencing, and we never really take the opportunity to say,

9:26 you know what, I'm going to take responsibility for this. I've got to figure out what's going on in my mind and my emotions that is attracting this type of activity. Would you mind commenting on that? I agree, I mean, after it kept happening, you know, because there's things associated with that. So once that kept happening, I was more angry, I was more bitter. I was blaming. I think I tried drinking vodka for year, and then what I started to see. I believe that the person in front of you is a mirror, a reflection of who you are. And what I started to see was people's faces. They didn't want to see me.

10:11 I was making people upset, they were angry. And I started to see was if I let that continue, I am no different than the people who did stuff to me. My future will be no different. It's all pre written that life path. And I could see that clearly, and I made a conscious choice to switch things around. I booked myself into anger management classes at my university. I would write the local spiritual retreat centers and I wrote them letters and I said, here's a list of seventeen horrible things that happened to me. So I know I'm going to be damaged if I don't fix it. I don't have the five hundred or however much to pay to come in, but I need help. Can you please let me in?

11:00 And I would do silent retreats on the weekend, and just those little glimpses started to open up a new life for me. I started to realize that I could break the patterns of what was happening. I realized I could control my anger. Yeah, and once you broke the patterns, have you found that you're not attracting those experiences anymore interesting? So there's one little glitch I found in that beautiful matrix. So I really really transformed. So I heard once doctor Phil say that for every I hate you, you need ten I love you to counter out that I hate you. So I am a woman who because I was scared of men, I went to Brazil and learned the art of Brazil and jiu jitsu. Just to really make sure that I would not be scared. Like I said, I checked myself into retreats. I went to New York. I did everything that ever scared me, turned it around. And then I studied all the ancient trainings that I could. I joined the Canadian Theosophical Society. I studied feng shweet, tarot cards, reiki healing, I walked on hot coals, I did trainings with doctor Eric Purl reconnective healing, a fourth dimension, fifth dimensional healings yoga by three different teachers, just because I really wanted to do to counter acts and chase the patterns.

12:33 And then so I really thought, Okay, now I've got some love in myself. Now I've switched things around. And what I didn't realize, sadly, is that there is one personality that I wasn't taught about. And I wholeheartedly believe that because I had kind of come from health, turned it around and found love, that that was all I could receive. But I wasn't aware that there are predators that look for people like that and they will kind of sneaky and and kind of take you for all you have. And so I did have that experience afterwards. But I feel like I've got the lessons now well. And isn't it interesting that we tend to put out that energy, as you said, you know sometimes and this is so tough I can't even imagine, all right, I've not experienced it, so again, it's really tough for me to totally understand. But what fascinates me is that we tend to put that energy out, and you're right, the predators or even the experiences. I know one individual who constantly puts out this energy constantly experiences all of these and I'm not going to tell it's not sexual stuff, but it's just in general not having success in their lives. And I watched them and observe that they keep experiencing it because they're not willing to number one,

14:07 even be aware that it's their responsibility. It's always somebody else, somebody else, somebody else. And it fascinates me that we don't realize that we put out the energy and we create the life. You know, doctor Joe Despenza, who you and I have talked about before because he's so big on meditation, but he has literally done this with some professors in Southern California, San Diego, where they are now measuring brainways through measuring everything, and they have found that, in fact, there is a physiological explanation and a scientific explanation to how people can literally change their lives, change that movie that they're experiencing in their life because they're able whatever process they use in order to do that. And I think it's important for people to understand that, guess what, we are responsible from what we're experiencing, but if we're willing to have the courage like you obviously had, and the willingness and the curiosity to explore and to seek and to try to figure it out. Your energy changes and suddenly your life changes. Yeah. Absolutely, Yeah, Well let's go ahead after you. Well, and let's let's talk about your first book, where

15:43 you're writing poems. It's interesting because you know, there are books that say, all, right, step by step, this is how you need to do it. And I've interviewed some authors that have written stories that are fixed and yet there's a purpose behind that, and all of a sudden it's totally affecting people. Now for you, it's these poems and as you say, you know, no matter how dark the stained, these are poems that you have written. And I'd love for you to share, you know, because there's three different sections right in the book. Yes, and I'd love for you to share what those are and and what your experience has been with people if you've had some feedback, which I'm sure you have as far as what does that do for people who are experiencing those traumas in their lives as they read those poems, how does that help them? Yeah, So let me tell you what I've had these poems and I wrote through everything that I went through in my life. That was my best friend with any pen and paper, toward the paper. When I was a waitress, it was the waitress cards. They're still sitting beside me. They're full of words. There was always channeling, channeling, channeling now when but like you said before, I always took it like blame myself kind of and held it to myself. And

17:15 here's what pushed this book out. In twenty twenty one, when the pandemic happened, now everyone had to stay home. And here's what I heard, domestic violence. Phone calls for the police went up sixty percent, like six six zero. So here I am sitting with poems. I wrote through all of that kind of like violence and all the things that happened to women. I have the words. So there's sixty percent of women who are calling police for help, who are stuck in these situations, and I know how they felt. I'm sure they feel scared, ashamed, they don't know where to go, there's no help for them, and who, like, who am I not to put this book out? That's what made me put the book together, so that no matter how dark, disdain, no matter how bad it is that happened. Those women need to know that there's a light inside of them, that they are still destiny despite what happened to them. Things happen, but it's not who they are. And I imagine a world where all of those women are exactly their full potential, and I'm reading the books that they want to write and the songs that they want to sting. So the three sessions, and no matter how dark disdain, I made very simple.

18:38 One is that innocence and that's like grade school or going to high school. It just innocence and you know, having fun and just who you are. And the second chunk of poetry here is called that's the thing about the heart it breaks, and that's the stuff you run into. For me, it was rated sexual assaults. You know, I douilt things with alcoholism, friendships, schooling, high school, well, suicide, all of those kinds of things that you know, you don't read about in the baron seeing Barns books when you're a kid. So there's a section for that. The last section of the book is Rise Up the Goddess. I've been in all three spots. But here's the beautiful thing about poetry right in the beginning. There is a Greek word for imitation, and it's called mimesis, and Plato's theory of memesis was that all forms of art are imitation of life, of an idea of reality. Memesis allows us to explore the relationship with our inner cults, our emotions beyond what's possible in the real world. In poetry of Four of My Nieces, the words are written at one point in time, read at another point in time, and through this mind to mind, heart to

20:08 heart experience, the reader finds that he or she is transformed. So if there's a lady, say, you know, who's lost a baby, which happens, but we don't talk about it all the time. In the second part of the book, there's words now for her to know that these are the words when that happens. Someone else has felt this, not just you, and in her during that or having words to her trauma that is transforming. That is turning light onto darkness. And where there is light, there can be no darkness because the mind cannot serve two masters. This is the start of healing. We can handle hard things, but we need to put it in a place. And my wish is that every woman who experienced any sexual assault, reproductive issues abuse will have this book in their hands, or they if your daughter comes home and you think something happened but she doesn't quite know what to say, that this book is just first just shows up on the bedside table because you can just open it and find where you are and read about it. But also you can see where you came from in the Innocence, and you can see where you're going in the Rise of the Goddess.

21:33 Well, and you know, I think that's so amazing that you've done it that way too, because I think that for many people, you know, they may look back at the Innocence, they look back and you know, they may observe what's going on and presently still what's going on, and they don't have hope. You know, hope is so important. And yes, they've lost hope because they don't know that there's a solution. And then with your third section, where all of a sudden, here's the hope, here's here, here's the ability to come out of this situation, to move forward in our lives. And as you say, it's fascinating that as they read that it's going to impinge in their mind. It's going to impinge in their heart and give them hope, and hopefully it gives them enough strength to say, Okay, I'm now aware that there is hope, and I'm aware that you know I'm going through this, but I'm aware that I want to change, And at that point in time, then they're able to seek out whatever professional help is going to work for them. And as you say, which I find fascinating, I mean, you did everything to try to figure that out. What's there for you? And for you? And as I said, when we first started, you know, everybody, you know,

23:04 I needed to find the right driver for golf in order to at least somewhat correct my swing. And what was it for you? Was there one point or was it all of those things? Was there one thing that stood out to you that you found really was the most effective in helping you work through that? Yeah? What was that? I was completely completely alone? And what what item? What? What thing is? You went to all of these different things with riiky and Brasilian jiu jitsu and you know, punk shue and meditation and yoga was for you? Was there one thing that has really been the main help or have you found that you still need to incorporate men any of those things that have been able to then help you. I feel like, at this moment in time, I am an amalgamation and I have embodied all of it perfectly, cultivated a life of love, cultivated the cells of my body to vibrate love the people around me, and the words that I write in my books now touched that heart center. When people come to my yoga classes now they'll say, I'm not quite sure what it is, but it sounds like like love, Like it sounds like your heart. And

24:41 I know that because I'm coming from such an authentic place in my heart, that that's what they're hearing, that that's what they're feeling. And I believe that that's how the world changes. It is heart to heart in yoga. One breath at a time, one poem a day, my Zen Buddhist teacher taught can soften your heart. He always taught. He started with a poem, my Zen Buddhist teacher, and he ended with a poem at the end of every class. And I believe the same thing. I think one poem a day can soften your heart, and just one breath a day, you have a little space to come from a more creative place within yourself. And in that little space is where healing happens, where the cells start to change patterns in the body, where you can take that extra breath, where you realize you're not just who you've been, that you can become something else, will become who you'd like to be. Well. And you know, I kind of laugh because I've tried yoga. I cannot do it. I just don't have the ability to do all those yoga I disagree with you. I disagree with you. I disagree with you, and I'll tell you why, because I know that you have a copy of the Forded right right? Do you have a copy of Deeper Dates? And this in yoga right here?

26:07 Shake it up, set it free and rise from the ashes. Shake it up, set it free and rise from the ashes. That's yoga right there, in that moment where I connected my head and my heart in that alignment, is yoga. That's to yoga to unite. Okay, I'm glad you clarified that, because if I'm understanding what you're saying, yoga is not necessarily all the physical activity, but rather it's a mental, emotional, spiritual activity. And are you able to accomplish the same thing that quote yoga is doing by doing either city meditation, walking meditation, those type of things. Because what I did with your book is you know, I had it and every day I was going to do some walking meditation, I'd look at that.

27:03 Yeah, that's what I thought about, is I was doing that. So do you find do you find that people who quote like me say, well, you know, yoga, I can't do all that physical stuff, but in fact they can do meditation, which will accomplish similar things. Yeah. So my backstory is that when I was looking for the dealing things, I opened up a newspaper after I think people were trying to kill me at that point, and I packed my car and drove like five cities away found a newspaper. I didn't want to be messed up from that too, so I opened it up and in the back section was NLP meditation person looking for students.

27:49 So I went to his house for five years. He ended up being famous, He's on some shows, he made a beautiful course, and he worked with me for five years before I even went into yoga. I had that meditation piece and I love it. It's yoga is a mind free of disturbances yoga is, but what we've seen culturally is all of the ofteness, which is postures and poses. When we look at yoga journal, we see the people holding their foot over their heads. So yoga is. There's over two hundred and sixty sutras and sutra think of stitches sutras or called and only three of them, only three out of over two hundred and sixty from potentially are about the postures. There's eight different components of yoga. There is the yamas, the ethics of yoga, the self observances, how you see yourself react. Then there's the posture. Then there is which one's next, prana yama, the breathing exercises. Then you go to the concentration, which is like deeper days, where you can hold your mind on one thought. Once you can hold your mind on one thought, then you have a little campground

29:22 where you can open to more holding a meditation practice. Once you have that is pratyahara, where you kind of go beyond the sensus. You probably notice this. You just you bliss out. It's not about what you're thinking feeling itchy. There's a state there. It's called prachiahara and that's one of the limbs. After that is a body of feeling of bliss. And it's not like they go on step, but it goes around in circles. It's so fascinating it is, and I think it's so important for people to understand that are experiencing these emotional traumas and physical traumas that ultimately become major emotional trauma. Is that and you made the point of the concentration. What came to my mind is, you know, here, here's the sense of meditation, yoga, concentration to the point where our mind allows us just to focus on one thing and as we see those emotions coming up. Now we're talking about mindset where you have developed a mindset that as those emotions start to come up, you're able to recognize them and put them to the side because you no longer buy into that. And I love that concept. I love what you're saying.

30:42 I love what you're saying. Here's what I noticed. No matter how dark the stain, shines light on all of those pebbles of the trauma that's within us. And once the light is there, once they come up, there is no they just come up and then deeper days then once those pebbles are settled and you have a spot to hold all the things that have happened, then you have deeper days when you can start to concentrate on something else. You can bring new vibes in. You can feel a sense of peace and that you're more right. You don't get you don't get these coming up so much right, they're not disturbing. And then you have stillness where you can be completely still with yourself and no matter what's coming, something's always a rising, something's always passing. We never quite get there. Something's always coming.

31:38 And that's a beautiful dance in a mind, a beautiful dance in the mind. But we need the words, we need the poems, we need to acknowledge. I see people here come to yoga and they'll lay down in yoga and clows their eyes. But if it's not dealt with, you know, if you were jerked to someone in high school, say, or you kicked your mom when you were little, those things are going to come when you're still. You don't know what's coming, and it might shock you or you might get scared to be surprised. And so some people they'll come back after five years to yoga and be like, oh, I stopped coming because I you know, and I get it, because things come up. It's important to shine a light and overturn every stone. And I say it like it's easy, but it's taken me years and stacks and stacks of self worth and self inquiry. But it can be done. It can be done well.

32:37 And aim in to that. And you know what's interesting is again for those people that tend to look at more scientific than they do you know other things, is that literally we are changing the neural pathways in our brain, as you say, as those negative things come up and we we mentally change the thought pattern on that. We are literally changing the neural pathways to the point where more positive than negative. And ultimately we can actually put that negative to the side and now we have those more positive neural pathways and it changes our lives because we are now in that direction. So, as we're getting to the close here, Heder, what I'd like you to do is just for less than a minute, I'd like you to share your thoughts with the audience. What would be the message that you want to share with them.

33:44 I want to share with you that you don't need to travel to all the places that I've done to do the hard work that I've done. The consciousness has risen and you can do this yourself. You can use the books as tools, and you have all you need to heal inside of you right now. The piece you find on the mountaintop of Tibet is the piece that you bring there. It's within you. The dark things of your life and the light ones are both love. You are both. You are the darkness, you are the light. You are absolute love. It's never too late to shine. The greatest illusion is separation. We're not separate. So me doing the work here is just for you to do the work there. And we're all interconnected on this beautiful invisible web of frequencies and vibrations. Well, and I love that. And you know, you bring up an interesting point that whether it's the negative or the positive, it is still love. And what's interesting is here you are. You've gone through all this trauma, and yet you have turned that around to where you are now affecting other people's lives in a positive way. And so as you look back at that, you know, horrible stuff and you certainly didn't deserve to go through that, Yet you have taken that and you've transformed that into love to where you are now touching

35:15 the lives of other people and making a difference in their lives. And Andrea, I think that is amazing. I think it's nature. It's nature. Yeah, I'm grateful for every moment. Had none of that happened, I would not be sitting here with you. I'm grateful for every hit, for every experience. Yeah. Well, and again, thank you again for coming back on the show. And you know we're going to do this again because we have some great conversations. I really appreciate it. I'm so happy to hear that. Thank you so much. Well, and folks, thanks for listening. And I hope that there's been something that's been said here today that is going to motivate you. Go get those books. They're all on Amazon, right, They're all on Amazon. Yet, were your favorite bookstore chapters?

36:01 Indigo? If you're in Canada, Barnes and Noble has them online. Amazon is number one, for sure. Okay, go get some Go get those books and start reading because I can guarantee you I have experienced that as I read these books, it just makes a change in your heart and in your life. So thanks for listening. Hope you'll join us again soon. This is doctor Duck saying have a wonderful week.